This post may touch some feelings. But the truth of the matter is, it needs to be said. So, GROW THE *bleep* UP, PEOPLE!
As I have shared in other posts, I am a funny acting individual. I say funny acting, but the truth is, I think, move and act differently from a lot of individuals I know. My differences have caused me some slack, strife, grief, and most often, love in countless situations. The good thing is, my panties are large enough for me to embrace every single one of those situations. Specifically, because each situation has taught me a lesson. I have been able to accept the many different challenges that have come my way because I’m true to who I am and I am fine acting how I do. Mostly because I’m honest, loving and loyal. My intentions are always good, but like every other human I’m flawed, but I’m perfectly okay being me. And not one of those qualities goes out of the window even after a fallout. Well, there is this one situation where I’ve considered myself disloyal, in hindsight. But I remember that feeling of “wrong” in the actual moment. Mainly because I knew it was not my character but I still did it anyway. What I cannot remember is if I did it because I was tired of being on the receiving end of “hurt”? Or if I needed “them” to feel my hurt? I honestly do not know why I continued to be disloyal to them and myself. But what I am certain of, is that I felt bad doing it. The good thing is, this friend and I later talked about it when we reconnected; and of course, as my real and true friends would do, she called me out about it. And me being me, I held on to my truth and owned my part. Anyways, to the point of the post, hahaha.
There are advantages and disadvantages to nearly everything that takes place in our lives. One advantage of being raised by my grandmother is that I consider myself wise beyond my years. She is true to self. This lady moves to the beat of her own drum and is unapologetic about it. Through my struggles of finding myself, it has taught me that being different is perfectly ok. And because of her teachings, there are a lot of things I just refuse to tolerate. However, through processing most of my “issues”, I’ve realized that before the induction into womanhood, I would often reflect back through my list of challenges to find the reason behind a flaw that I have so thankfully caught on to and I gratefully accepted the awkward feelings of being an honorable member of womanhood and sister-ships. As I maneuver through this journey and finally landed in the “adult” phase, I’ve learned that those “awkward” feelings were “growth”. For this reason, worse than any other pet peeve of mine, to see women act so catty and sit in their feelings about things that they can so obviously communicate about, irks me to my core. It is absolutely ok to feel however you may feel. However, why the drama? Why the mess? Why the whispers? Again, I think, move and behave differently and what I am continuously learning and forever accepting in my journey of growth is that, everyone will not agree, like or care about how I think, feel, move or behave and I am forever learning to be absolutely okay with that. And if I am going to be okay with not being accepted, liked or cared about by others I guess I can also be ok to think that they are into “foolery” and should not care to have them in my life. Therefore, GROW THE *bleep* UP, PEOPLE!
Though I am ok with not being accepted, liked or cared about, I am still annoyed by the foolery. Mainly because I see it mostly in women that are older than me. In my opinion, I find the foolery to be a growing process for young people. It is a part of the developing process; that process that brings growth. At least it should be just a part of the journey into adulthood. But I’ve realized it is not and it annoys me.
Allow me to explain a little further. I’ve learned that experiences make you wiser, not your age. It’s definitely just a number. However, I’ve also learned that I do not have to experience everything to understand the lesson in every situation. I can see it, hear it and accept it at that moment of witnessing it. I do not have to necessarily go through it to believe or understand the lesson for myself. At 36, I have been through a lot, seen a lot and I have heard a lot, therefore I have learned a lot. Contrary to, I do believe if a 50-year-old or older has knowledge of something only from hearsay, social media, television, and or the big screens, but has not experienced hard times outside of the media, they will likely be stuck in their own way and may very well be full of judgment. Now, I share this point to say; people need to open their minds up to the fact that we all do not have the same advantages and should not judge another for being different. And because they show you a world that you are not familiar with does not mean that they are not good at heart. Look beyond what your eyes are showing you. I’m speaking of morals, integrity, and character. If you show that you are consistent at being messy, catty, judgmental, mean and or heartless, grow up. Because it comes from your inability to accept your own flaws so to camouflage your own issues, you judge, grow the *bleep* up!
I honestly do not know if it’s me, them or us (I like the idea of it being “us” because we all are our own individuals that has a difference of an opinion), but whatever it is, why do GROWN people act so childish? It is not only frustrating to be a witness to the foolery but to be mixed into it is exhausting. For instance, if a friend can discuss nearly everything with you, talk about everything and everyone, claim to care about the friendship (you), but refuse to let you know that there is a problem, that you have caused them to hurt, is beyond me. (SMH) I have yet to understand that concept. All I am saying is that people may trust you, love you and share everything with you, but if they cannot be real with you or themselves and communicate to salvage or save the friendship, then let it and them go, because that is not a friendship or love. Love is unconditional and though I do believe that friendships have phases and conditions (I’ll save that for a later post), the unconditional love speaks to this point. If one can use you to communicate (gossip) everything else to you except for “you hurt me” or “I’m hurt because”, let them walk away if they choose to not be a part of your life. Their inability to express their feelings speaks to a fear or insecurity that one has not yet faced within themselves, that “awkward” feeling I explained previously. Not only is it an insecurity, it is also cowardly in some cases. It is easier to walk away from someone, isolate yourself and pretend as if you are unbothered, but it takes some real strength and confidence in self to confront or address an issue that is too uncomfortable or difficult to face. Do not confuse this point with “cooling off” and or waiting for the most appropriate time to present a problem. I believe in cooling off! But if it is a pattern, deuces! Because I have feelings too! And walking in and out of someone’s life is hurtful as well. For that reason, I will just say, GROW UP!