Life

Captured Insecurities


Lately I’ve been in deep thought about my friends. My social media friends to be exact. Small things I see in some of them scream insecure, but I also wonder, what is different in their actions compared to mine? So, let’s explore.

Social media gets on my everlasting nerve. Seriously. To see every event, hangout or daily selfie posted is so obnoxious. It actually screams “insecure” to me. Honestly because I think the number of likes and or comments fulfill something within. Do not get me wrong, we post to grab attention and to share the event, moment and beauty in the picture. But I often wonder, what if no one comments or like the post? How would one really feel? It’s not like the post are far and few. There is literally a post for and about absolutely, everything. Would it hurt to post a picture or two, here and there? I think that’s where I differ. My life isn’t plastered on social media. Moments are. And I post so infrequently that one couldn’t determine my mood. Well, only through that specific post. Every now and again, or every other special event or occasion, I may post A PICTURE and title it something specific, that’s it. I think the obsession to social media and the need to have feedback says that one is low somewhere within. But where? What is it? Words of affirmation maybe? We’ll get back to that…

What about lack of childhood necessities? Necessities meaning the “finer things” under the categories of clothes, shelter and more. Not the basic kind. The type that you envied from a classmate. Ahh! Is that it? Did you envy others growing up to the point you want them (and others) to now envy you? Possibly? Maybe a little? If so, I think you should re-evaluate what’s important to you. All jokes aside. Materialistic possessions should not give “you” life (considering daily post). One should be so fulfilled in other areas that I should see the glow in those post as well. Speaking candidly. Because truthfully, I’m assuming. Or am I on to something?

Now let’s rewind back to “words of affirmation”. This is for the individuals that constantly pride themselves before one can offer them a compliment. Now, when I say “words” I mean a choice of words that are pretty EXTREME compared to their behaviors/actions. Why is it that you have to constantly (and I mean daily and in every conversation) remind others of how great or awesome you are, all that and a bag of chips (or what the hell ever), as if we don’t know. Wait! We don’t. So you’re reminding us, huh? No, maybe you are trying to convince yourself. I just feel that one doesn’t have to remind others of their greatness because we will see it. As for me, I’m the friend that will verbalize it to you, and often. No need to boast with me. Your actions will speak louder than your words, and I’ll see you and give you your props. Trust! I just feel that confidence is an action. It doesn’t have to make a sound all the time. It shows in ones work, appearance, actions and walk, and in ones tone as they speak. It’s not a constant reminder in conversation with others. Because if you constantly need to tell me how awesome you are, I feel like you’re working too hard to convince both you and me. And honestly, at this point, I don’t give a damn. I see you and I definitely hear you…the bull that is. I’m a woman of action and natural connection…no need to try with me because I notice more than one actually may think.

Wait! Allow me to go on record and say this. I’m not knocking anyone’s hustle. I understand being hungry for this money that is out here and wanting more. I want more. Hell, Beyoncé wants more. Did you hear she’s looking into buying the Houston Rockets? So please, go get yours. All I’m saying is to be true to you, who you are and know where you need work. People notice when you try too hard, and it’s not cute. And that’s my argument. I feel like some women just don’t know who they really are. Maybe that’s just it, Idk (shrug shoulders). They “appear” to have it together but still hold an emptiness.

Allow me to use myself as a quick example. I am empty in the social zone (internally). I feel like my roles as wife and mother has taken away my ability to socialize with friends and do fun “girl” things that my other friends are able to do. Mainly because I have to be involved with my family and secondly, I enjoy my alone time. Many times I choose to select my “me time” over my friends. Therefore, keeping me out of the loop even longer. So, when I see those friends on social media, living it up (especially at an event I was invited to) I get jealous. Jealous to the point that it makes me extremely sad. BUT!! I know who I am and what my issues are. I fight through those feelings and move on. For some of you, I don’t think you know or either you just don’t want to admit it. IDK. You tell me.

~MeiaAmor

4 Comments

  1. Social Media has a role in everyone’s life, however, it is slowly making people anti-social. I agree with you, many boast to boost their life in a light that isn’t completely accurate, or accurate at all. Some use social media primarily for business, or to keep up with the fam bam.

    But I think you’re absolutely correct, a lot of people reveal insecurities that even themselves aren’t aware of when they post so much. Or maybe because the lack of friends.Who knows, but social media has made it so hard for people to connect with each other personally. It makes me sad, because even I have caught myself being so of putting in person (I’m a pretty outgoing, easy to talk to person).

    I also encourage you to take some time to hang out with your friends. As wife and mothers, we do need that even if it is once a month. Social interaction is very important. Me time is very important as well, just remember to get a balance for yourself!

    Great job on your post!

    1. Meia Amor

      Thank you for the advice. I’m actually doing better with my “me” time and communicating the need more with my husband. Thank you! ?

  2. I really enjoyed this post. My favorite line was, “I feel confidence is an action”. It just resonates with me and my growing process. I am learning how to display confidence more in the boundaries I set with myself and others. Great read! I am excited to read more!

    1. Meia Amor

      Thank you so much! Your opinion is definitely appreciated.

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