The one thing I’m learning through this journey called life is that everyone is not going to like everything about me, no matter how good of a person I try to be. People will not agree with everything I decide to do, no matter how hard I try. People are going to be people, and I cannot stop them from being who they are. Right?
Right! But the reality is, the shit still sucks. It sucks to try hard, be good and still get shut out and or talked about. It sucks to know that what I’m “doing” isn’t appreciated because…well, who knows, hahaha. It also doesn’t mean that it doesn’t hurt my feelings and it doesn’t mean that I can’t be in my feelings. On the other hand, it does mean that I should not soak in my feelings and allow the disagreements and opinions of others dictate me or control how I do me. Or at least I shouldn’t. Well, the actuality is that I do. Sometimes I get so in my head that I actually start to believe the opinions of others. Which then leaves me doubting my greatness. Fears develop and in no time, I’m sitting around still thinking about what I could or should be doing. Instead of just moving.
The night I launched my blog, excitement kept me up all night. But then, my insecurities kept me wondering. “What if no one likes it? Will anyone actually read it?” Let me not forget to mention, the steady looking. “Let me go check and see if anyone new has subscribed or commented.” Ugh! I was all in my head, just driving myself crazy. The truth of the matter is that everyone cannot and will not relate. And the harsh reality is that, everyone doesn’t care to hear my stories or issues. So, I tell myself that the blog will work for someone.
Lo and behold, what happens? Soon after giving myself the headache from worrying, sporadic text messages came through. “OMG Meia, I’m in tears.” Then, “Meia, I’m so proud of you!” And another, “This is so raw.” And much more. These individuals didn’t subscribe nor did they leave a comment. But guess what, they read it. Mission accomplished!
So don’t let your fears and the opinions of others get the best of you and keep you from moving forward with your plan. It’s between you and your God and He gives the heart what it desires. And I desire to heal and help…myself and others. And though you want validation to ensure you are doing a great job at what you enjoy, as long as you are enjoying what you are doing, keep doing it. Truth be told, as afraid as I am about what others may think or say, I’m more excited about my journey. This is my truth! My therapeutic method to healing and if it doesn’t work for some, then (shrug shoulders) so be it! My truth is, I’ve lived a long (hard) 35 years of life and I have some shit to tell and a little advice to give. Plus someone will need something from this blog. Maybe just one. And guess what? I plan to reach that one person. Everything isn’t for everyone and I have to remind myself of that every time I post my thoughts. Literally, every single time. So, be kind to yourself and remember, “doing you” will not be acceptable to others. Therefore, go do your THANG! Hahaha.